I want to be who you want me to be

But I want to do it for myself.

I want to be happy again.

More so, I want to be the person I remember I was. I want to be optimistic, I want to look at the world with pink colored glasses.

I think when time after time things didn't go how I thought they would I began to believe it was better to assume things would go poorly. This way I didn't get let down, time after time. I began to see the bad in people over the good in people.

I have spent the last four months re inventing my way of thinking. It hasn't been difficult, it has actually been enjoyable. I have talked to God, I have listened to others thoughts and oponions... I have looked for the good in everyone and FOUND IT... It has been amazing...

I never use to take the time to see the beauty in things. Not in the world, not in others. I thought something like sunsets were just a waste of time.

I want to believe in myself again. I want to know who I am. I want to be secure in that. I know Adam is never coming back. I still want to be the person who he saw. I know he fell in love with me once. I have to believe he was in love with me for some of the time we were together. I want him to be able to be proud of the person that I am....

I want to be proud of the person that I am.

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”Audrey Hepburn