Where are my magnets?

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

It is time I take my life back. Since I watched it fall apart just four months ago, I feel like I was standing outside it, watching, like a bad car accident. I have started each week telling myself, ok this is gonna be the week. Im gonna get my ass back to the gym, I'm gonna detox and stop drinking, I'm gonna get my shit together. But then night after night I find myself out drinking, talking about my sadness, waking up with a hang over...
It never makes me feel any better, It never even makes me forget. How could it. I cannot forget.....

:He put her out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
Hebroke her heart she spent her whole life tryin' to forget
We watched her drink her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night:
Maybe Jessica was right. I cam home for lunch today and immediately noticed something in my house missing. I noticed cards and magnets missing from my refrigerator. To be perfectly clear, these magnets were my save the date magnets and these cards were cards I gave Adam when we were still in love... So, after asking me many times to take them down Jessica felt it was her duty to take them down herself. She was right. It got me to thinking...
It really has been hard for me to wake up everyday. It has been a challenge to want to get out of bed.
That needs to change. The first step is to stop the drinking. To get back in the gym... to start to feel like a real person again... to remember who I am. My behavior is unacceptable...and furthermore it isn't helping anything.